Stray Thoughts

• Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
• There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
• When I am feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. (Not really)
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
• A penny saved is a government oversight.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
• Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?